Peter Parker VS The World
by OLD USERNAME DON'T FOLLOW
Summary: Part 2 of 6! What will happen when Kitty and Mary Jane collide? And who is the Second Sinister Ex?
1. Dating A Mutant, Part II

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I should be giving you this chapter once _Camelia_ is finished, but PumpkinGrin has offered her support in my fics, so what the hell, right?**

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><p>"What<em> the hell is this?"<em>

_Peter Parker stood on the steps of Mighty Thor's Secondary School staring into the eyes of three bullies._

_One of them replied in a nasty tone, "This is where you find out where you're worth a damn in life."_

_"You're serious about this? Let's go!"_

_FIVE MINUTES LATER_

_Peter was sitting in a chair in front of the principal's office, next to a silver-haired girl in a school uniform just like his._

_She turned to him. "What are you in the hot seat for?"_

_"I got in a fight. An awesome fight."_

_"Did you win?"_

_"Totally!" __**(NOTE: He failed. Epically.)**_

_"Cool. Are you new here?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Same here. I'm Felicia Hardy."_

_"Peter Parker."_

_"How long have you been at this school?"_

_"About ten minutes." __**(NOTE: Actually, it's about nine minutes and three seconds.)**_

_"And you got picked on already? You must be really cool. We should, like, hang out."_

_"You think so?"_

_"Yeah."_

_Later that day, Peter headed over to his 1st period class, geography, where he was assigned to do a presentation with a brown-haired girl named Janet Dyne. As he sat down next to her, she looked over at him and glared._

_"Listen here, and listen hard. This is your first day here, so I won't bite your head off just yet, but if you get me even a 99 on this project, I will beat your ass so bad. So don't slack off. You better pull your goddamn weight."_

_"Um... okay."_

_"I'm Jan."_

_"Peter."_

_That was how the three friends met._

_And soon, they formed a band, the New Warriors, and played for the students of Mighty Thor's Secondary School._

_And during that time, Jan and Peter dated._

_But it was not to last. Soon, Peter was forced to move away, thus ending the New Warriors and his relationship._

"PETER!"

Johnny woke up his roommate from his daydream.

Peter remembered where he was (on a bus going home with Johnny) and who he was:

**Peter Parker. Fun Fact: He was also the hero of **_**Peter Parker's Precious Little Life**_**!**

He also remembered who he was going home with:

**Johnny Storm. Fun Fact: He is gay!**

"So, Peter... as I was saying, it's finally nice out."

"What? Oh, yeah. That's... good. That's good."

"Hey, I found out that Sergei Kravenoff is coming here to shoot the new season of his reality show."

"Um... wasn't he in _The Amazing Spider-Guy_ #15?"

"What? Um... no."

"No, wait, he was in the _Last Hunt_ storyline!"

"Let's change the subject. How are you and Mary Jane doing?"

"Great! Actually, she's coming over in a few days for dinner so you can meet her."

"I met her at your show, remember?"

"Oh."

"But listen, Peter. I have to issue an ultimatum."

"Like that one comic?"

"NO! Not like the comic! Okay, so if you want to bring over Mary Jane, first you have to dump Kitty."

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><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for the short chapter, but I'm tired.<strong>

**R & R!**


	2. Breaking Up With A Mutant

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, _Camelia_ is done, so this is now my primary priority.**

**After reading this, review _Web Of Spider-Man_, _Ultimate Batman_, _Ultimate Superman_, and _Ultimate Green Lantern_. I need reviews on those fics.**

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><p>"Say what?" Peter was shocked to hear what his roommate had just said.<p>

"You heard me. You have to break up with Kitty, or I'm telling Mary Jane you have a girlfriend."

"But... but... I don't wanna!"

"I'm dead serious. The minute she walks in the door..."

"Damn you! This are lies! Awful ones!"

Johnny raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh."

The bus then stopped in front of Peter and Johnny's house.

Johnny stood up and said, "By the way, my friends are crashing today, so you have to sleep somewhere else."

Peter just realized: "Wait! Is this our stop?"

"Bye, Peter." Johnny got off the bus. As he walked away, Peter yelled from the window:

"YOU SUCK, WHICH SURPRISES NO ONE! IF BAD WAS A BOOT, YOU'D FIT IT! YOU, SIR, ARE A WRETCHED SOUL!"

This continued until Peter got over it, which was when he got off the bus and walked over to a phone booth and called:

"Kitty? It's Peter? Are you done with school?"

A cheerful voice on the other line picked up. "Yeah!"

"Great. Could we, um, hang out?"

"Sure. Where are you?"

"Corner of Bloor and Bathurst."

"Are you wearing a blue tee-shirt? With jeans?"

"Yeah."

"And are you wearing a really geeky cap?"

"_Star Trek: Voyager_ caps aren't geeky! And how are you psychic?"

Peter heard a _tap tap_ and turned around to see:

**Kitty Pryde. Fun Fact: She is Peter Parker's mutant girlfriend!**

"Hey, Peter!"

"Oh... hey."

So the couple walked over to a music store, where Kitty picked up a CD that was entitled: _The Wild Pack: Torment_.

Kitty squealed with joy. "This is their latest album! Oh my God, I really want to get this!"

Peter shuddered. He'd heard of the Wild Pack before. Mainly because he knew their lead singer...

He quickly thought of something. "Um, I heard that album. It's terrible. Really."

Kitty put the album down and said something even worse for Peter than before: "So, do you want to come over for dinner one day?"

"Um... I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm too old for you."

"Not by much, if you ask me."

"But that's not the point, Kitty. I think that... we need to break up."

**(NOTE: What happened afterwards was too depressing to dwell on, so we'll just skip to about two hours later.)**

Peter walked in the door of Stephen Rogers's to see that his band, the Mighty Avengers, was waiting for him:

**Stephen Rogers. Fun Fact: We always refer to him by his full name!**

**Jan Dyne. Fun Fact: She dated Peter in high school!**

**"Young Bobby" Drake. Fun Fact: We never call him just "Bobby!"**

"So where's Kitty?" Jan asked. "Not coming tonight?"

Peter nodded. "Yeah. We broke up. So next practice, I'm bringing my _new_ new girlfriend."

Young Bobby went wide-eyed. "New new. Nice."

Jan scowled. "Peter, you are the scum of the Earth."

After band practice, Peter went home to get ready for Mary Jane's arrival. He cooked dinner, which Johnny tried to mooch.

"Come on, just one plateful!" Johnny pleaded.

"Go! Food not for you!" Peter pointed to the door.

"But there's so much food!"

"There's only enough for me and MJ!"

"Are you seriously calling her that?"

"Not to her face."

The door went _DING DONG_.

Peter spazzed. "Ah! She's here!"

Johnny walked over to the door with garlic bread in his mouth. "I'll get it." He opened the door to see:

**Mary Jane Watson. Fun Fact: We know nothing about her!**

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><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry to cut you off at the good part, but I should really get back to working on <em>Six Months In<em>.**

**Go vote on my poll! Now!**

**R & R!**


	3. Second Date

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ignore the part of last chapter's Author's Note about Web of Spider-Man. It's been deleted since no one's acknowledged it.**

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><p>"Welcome. Come on in." Johnny greeted Mary Jane.<p>

"Hey. Johnny, right?" Mary Jane walked in.

Peter walked right up and greeted her. "Hey! Welcome to my apartment!"

"Thanks. Do you mind if I sit down on that chair over there for a minute?" Mary Jane pointed to the easy chair over by the futon.

"Yeah, sure!"

"Thanks. I just want to take my shoes off." Mary Jane sat down and looked around the apartment. "So, this is your place, then?"

"Yup!" Peter said proudly. "Everything here is mine and Johnny's."

**Peter's things: Lame poster, clothes and shoes on floor, coat, toothbrush that Johnny paid for**

**Johnny's things: Futon, throw rug, easy chair, wall lamp, everything in the kitchen, coat that's better than Peter's, TV, video games and systems, books, CDs, shelves, computer, table, socks that are currently on Peter's feet**

"Well, you guys have fun!" Johnny got on his coat and bailed.

"So... what's for dinner?" Mary Jane asked Peter.

"Well... it's some sort of pasta, and it has a little cheese, and maybe some asparagus." Peter walked over to the kitchen and pulled a big bowl of pasta out of the oven, and a thing of garlic bread.

Mary Jane stared. "You can cook? Wow, I thought the apron was just to impress me."

AND THEN THEY ATE DINNER.

ON THE FLOOR.

BECAUSE PETER'S APARTMENT DOES NOT HAVE ONE STINKING TABLE.

Mary Jane finished her pasta. "This was really good. Too bad we don't have a table to eat on, but even if we did, this would still be really good."

Peter nodded. "Sorry that there's no table. Glad you like this."

"Yeah. I can't believe you made a thing of garlic bread." Mary Jane said, nodding to the plate of garlic bread over by Peter.

"Oh, I love garlic bread, and if I could afford it, I'd probably eat it every day. Or just nonstop without stopping."

"You'd get fat."

"No. Why would I get fat?"

"Bread makes you fat, dude."

"Bread makes you _fat_?"

Peter then ate another piece of garlic bread.

And then he and Mary Jane started making out.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Mary Jane pointed out, "Your hair is pretty shaggy, dude."

Peter hurriedly pushed himself away from Mary Jane and exclaimed, "OH CRAP! DO I NEED A HAIRCUT?"

**Peter's last haircut: 431 days ago. Three hours before breaking up with Silver Sablonova (ex-girlfriend). Blames breakup on haircut. He now cuts his own hair, or makes Johnny do it.**

Mary Jane stared. "Well... it's fine the way it is. Really."

"BUT IT WOULD BE BETTER SHORT, WOULDN'T IT, THOUGH?"

"It's fine the way it is. Seriously."

Then Peter huddled up in the corner. "OH GOD, WHY?"

"Listen, I want to talk to you about something important. It's about the Second Sinister Ex."

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><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE: Spoiler time! The Second Sinister Ex is... Kraven!<strong>

**R & R!**


	4. EVIL!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay... yeah. Here you go.**

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><p>The next day, at the S.H.I.E.L.D., MJ walked through the door to get a coffee.<p>

When she got to the counter, she ran into:

"Jessica?" MJ was surprised to see Peter's clone. **(NOTE: They met at the show from Book 1.)**

"Hey, MJ! Wow, your hair looks great!"

AND AT THE MOMENT, AT PETER'S APARTMENT, PETER PARKER NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK.

Johnny, who was sitting next to him on the floor, raised an eyebrow. "You okay, dude?"

Peter snapped out of it. "What? Oh, yeah. I just had a weird feeling."

"Uh huh. Okay, here's my file on Sergei Kravenoff." Johnny flipped through a file with papers in it. "Okay... let's see... hunter who became an actor... this part's irrelevant... hates spiders... member of Six Sinister Exes, but I guess you knew that already..."

Peter cut him off. "How should I start training?"

"150 push-ups."

"WHAT? Aw, you totally stink!" Then Peter did his push-ups. "I hate you! This is awful!"

THEN HE WENT OVER TO STEPHEN ROGERS'S PLACE, ONLY TO HEAR:

"Did you hear about Silver coming over here?" Young Bobby inquired.

"...Yes." Peter replied grudgingly. A silence followed.

Stephen Rogers broke the silence. "Well, I'm happy that she's popular."

"I'M NOT! AT ALL!"

"Calm down, dude. We should be grateful that any of us made it big."

Then Peter started hitting him with a pillow. "GRATEFUL? I AM ENRAGED! WE WILL DESTROY THAT EVIL WOMAN AND HER EVIL BAND! BECAUSE THEY ARE EVIL!"

Jan coughed. "I have one question. Is Silver's band evil?"

"THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER!"

So, later that day, Peter rode home on the bus with MJ. On the bus, he sang her a song he wrote for her:

"MJ... MJ... MJ... MJ! Dah dah duh duh duh duh duh! MJ! Wicked MJ! MJ! MJ!" **(NOTE: I should have warned you in advance, but Peter is terrible at songwriting.)**

MJ nodded. "Cool. I can't wait to hear the song." **(NOTE: That **_**was**_** the song.)**

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><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE: Really, I just did this chapter to hold you guys over.<strong>

**R & R!**


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